Clockwork

I may change the title of this, but for now, the selected title works.

I want to thank for giving me the idea to write something from first person. I've been thinking about how to do that for a while. How'd I do?

The idea for this story started with listening to Herr Drosselmeyer's Doll, by Abney Park. It's actually been rattling around for months, and, as par for course with many of my ideas, evolved into something different. While writing this, I listened to the above song, as well as Building Steam, and The Secret Life of Dr. Calgori (both by the same artists); and a bit of The Doctor's Wife by The Clockwork Quartet. I give The Secret Life of Dr. Calgori and The Doctor's Wife a "weirdness" warning, as well as a warning that they are a bit ... sad. I also rate Herr Drosselmeyer's Doll for being poignant, and there are slight hints of things (took me about 8 times hearing it to realize what the song was saying at the end). No worries, far more explicit things play on radios at professional workplaces.

I did this to see if I could write something a bit "Steampunk" and from the first person. I'm hoping that I conveyed the look of the dancing dolls well; they were life-size models.

While I'm not necessarily concerned with the genre, does it fit under "Steampunk?" My thoughts are that it does, since the technology is a bit (well far) ahead of its time.

Did I effectively make you wonder about the disposition of the dolls (are they alive)?

Did I effectively describe the dolls so that they were easy to see?

What stood out?

What are your thoughts, overall? (Please, be specific! )